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All of these are tests of masculinity for these adolescent men.
Many boys become interested in weight lifting magazines with photos of muscular men whom they wish to emulate as a way of demonstrating their masculine prowess. According to Robert Stoller, a psychoanalyst and researcher on sexual issues and pornography, the role of pornography is to serve as the reverse of life events that occurred during childhood.
Shameful feelings of self condemnation can be extremely harsh, especially when it is perceived that a deeply valued belief about what is and is not socially acceptable has been violated. The individual who feels shame engages in total self condemnation, whether other people are aware of it or not.
Shame is much more powerful than guilt because feeling guilty is connected with a single act or behavior of which the person disapproves. Instead, there is awareness that some law or code has been violated in a single instance. It involves a complete judgment of the entire self as negative.
In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.
To this day there remains the double standard that for men it is permissible to be sexual but for women sexuality represents being immoral and sinful.
We need to ask if this angry approach is good for either men or women over the topic of viewing internet pornography.
Would it not be better to try and understand what is happening here between males and females and, through that understanding, develop better ways to cope with this problem?
Part of the reason why women are so angry about internet pornography is that it takes their men away from the family and from themselves.
Some of these female writers report that they even view some internet porn along with their partner and feel especially angry that their partner will sneak away to view porn websites in isolation.
The comments express outrage, hurt, puzzlement, and confusion about what goes on with their men.
The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.